Lolo Cynthia tackles the grey areas of sexual assault in this 4 part series She will be highlighting and answering questions like
- Why People Refuse to use the word Rape
- Sexual Assault Vs Rape. Which is more politically correct?
- Is persuading Someone to have sex rape?
- Can One Find Pleasure While being sexually assaulted?
- Why people refuse to acknowledge that they have been sexually assaulted
In her first video on the series, Lolo Cynthia speaks on why people refuse to accept the label rape.
Many people agree to have raped or have been raped if you do not label that experience as rape??
In this video, Lolo Cynthia discusses this; highlighting issues like
1.Revictimization
The society has a fictional narrative on how rape is that thing that destroyed a woman life; that thing so damaging and life-shattering, that works victim becomes her identity.
Survivors who do not perceive that experience as such, are often conflicted. Questioning themselves as to why they are not as shattered as they should be or rather expected to be; could it be that there is something inherently wrong with them?
This train of thought leads to another cycle of emotional distress.
Also, the way the label pushes the idea that a woman essence is attached to her sexual integrity. Reinforcing a stereotype of rape survivors as damaged.
2. Perceptions
There's a cultural narrative that many have of rape. A picture it paints.. Maybe a stranger jumping from the bushes or some kind of Sex that happened with physical violence accompanied by lots of screaming and kicking..
This is not to say that this narrative is untrue. It is just incomplete. It doesn't show the different range of stories and forms that rape can take.
For some, these associations do not reflect what happened during that incident, they choose not to identify it as rape. Because it doesn't fit that narrative of "real rape"
The idea that the abusers are often sociopath also makes it more distressing. The abusers who happen to be just regular people most of the times, do not see themselves in that light. They believe they won't purposely hurt someone or be violent for the sake of sex, but in actual sense rape takes different forms.
Their victims also find it difficult to reconcile the image of the person they saw during the assault and the person who they see "regularly".. They can often call it a "mistake " "bad day" because they believe for one to be a rapist, they need to be wicked, angry, unemotional etc., all the time.
The idea that rape always carries the undertone of violence also makes it difficult for people to see rape where the abuser was a woman and the victim a man and marital rape as "real rape "
Where marriage is an institution where many have a belief that each party has right to their partner's bodies.. And woman On man rape is seen as sexy and something that every man should desire..
To hear more about what she says, please Watch the video
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